I recently recalled something that gave me a giggle, the kind of laugh when you are dumbstruck and a little in awe at the absurdity & beauty in how life can unfold.
When I was growing up I was a horrible reader. I don’t mean that I struggled with the act of reading; rather, I hated reading. Not because I didn’t like books or the idea of reading, it just wasn’t an activity that I enjoyed and I kinda thought I didn’t do it well.
I had this mindset about having to finish a book, no matter what. I’m not sure where I got that idea, but once I started, I had a rigid commitment of seeing it through to the end. Additionally, since I am more of a visual gal, sometimes I need t o read things multiple times in order to get the gist of a passage.
The combination of those two factors resulted in reading being an activity that felt laborious and completely took the wind out of my sails when I optimistically pulled a book off the shelf.
Plus, I knew people who were “readers”. People who could curl up with a book for hours and even read the same book MORE THAN ONCE because they loved it so much. My observation of other’s genuine love and passion for reading resulted in me judging myself to not be a reader.
I carried that label in my mind for a majority of my life. In fact, about 10 years ago when I was invited to join a book club I recall stating up front that I’d probably drag down the overall pace of the group, so think carefully about whether or not they truly wanted to extend an invitation to someone in the remedial group. #BookBirchesForever
SIDENOTE: Our book club name “Book Birches” came out of an auto-corrected text of our original, much more badass, name and we just went with it.
I share all of that as backstory to the fact that today I am someone WHO GETS PAID to read! How crazy is that?
An area of my life that I observed as a deficit is now integral to what I do for a living.
Of course, I’m not suggesting this is always the case, but I do like the thought of making space for life’s ironies or unexpected turns. Plus, maybe we should consider pumping the brakes on making declarations about what we are and what we aren’t. Because even areas that we observe as struggles or short-comings may contain more potential than we realize.
To be honest, I don’t want to give an update on lettering. I’ve been struggling and the busyness of other projects has made it easy to avoid looking at it. Alas, my goal of keep it real with y’all means sharing the good, the bad and the UGH-ly.
The more I’ve been doing, the more I am feeling scattered on what direction I’m heading. When there are many possibilities, but limited resources, it feels super important to get it “right” when considering what to pursue and I’m just losing clarity about what that is.
Historically, when I found myself in a spot where things are breaking down and I didn’t see a clear path, I would do one of two things; either power up on myself in a General Patton sort of way with lots of talk about pulling up bootstraps and rubbing dirt on wounds, or turn to despair and tell myself all sorts of elaborate stories with “I’m a loser” being a prominent through line.
However, I’m wondering about trying to do things a little differently. While I’m not loving how stuck and unclear I feel right now; rather than using my energy to forge another hill or dig my own personal “pit of despair”, I’m going to try something different and just get curious.
Curious about the space I’m in right now. Curious about how I got here. Curious about what would happen if I tried something. Curious about what would happen if I did nothing.
Even the most unpleasant of circumstances could have a gem or two waiting to be discovered for those who take the time to look for them.
So I’m not sure what’s next with my lettering work, but I’m getting comfortable with that being ok. To be clear, I still love lettering. In fact, my daughter asked if I would help create artwork to put on shirts for the crew responsible for lighting in the theatre department at school.
It was a lovely opportunity to practice some script lettering, as well as playing with adding depth to the graphic with highlights. I still don’t know what the “EP” stands for, but the more I inquired, the more I got a “you had to be there” vibe.
My goal is to get projects from 2 new publishers before the end of the year and I’m happy to say I’m halfway there, I got a project from Blackstone Publishing! Woo hoo!!
Those playful “Intro Videos” were a factor in starting conversations that otherwise wouldn’t be happening. If you haven’t seen them, feel free to click on of the videos below. Of course, even if you have seen them, since each one is only a minute long, it’s totally worth a second look.
As it currently stands, various discussions with publishers and content creators are “in process”, so I continue tending to those connections. I’m like a mama bird fussing over her eggs, making sure they are warm and safe, and wondering which one is going to show signs of life next. #expectant
As far as this new book, it’s a non-fiction title called “The #MeToo Reckoning; Facing the Church’s Complicity in Sexual Abuse and Misconduct.” Some of the chapter titles include; “Power and Patriarchy,” “Silence and Shame,” “Purity Culture and Rape Culture,” and “Vulnerability and Voice.” Yup, it goes to all of the places.
Obviously, it’s on the heavier end of the topic spectrum, but I truly feel honored to be a part of this project. It’s not always the case that I work on a project that lines up with my views on a topic, but this one definitely checks off a number of boxes for me.
Dean & I will be recording in our newly improved studio space, which basically feels like I’m in some sort of fort. Plus, the way it cuts down noise from the house like some kind of “sound cocoon” is especially appealing. I have told Dean if he ever can’t find me, there is a high-probability I’m taking some “me time” in the studio. #TreatYoself
I’m reminded that I most likely wouldn’t have this project if I hadn’t thought of a different way to connect with my target audience (publishers) or if I didn’t keep showing up, even when it appears I’m getting no response. So to all of you in the trenches slogging toward a goal but seeing little progress, I hope this gives a little encouragement to keep at it, because it really does pay off.
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