Recently I had an experience while creating a lettering piece that spoke to a topic which is near and dear to my heart. It brought such encouragement I started to wonder if it might be worth sharing. To all of my fellow parents out there, today’s post is for you.
It’s bizarre to think that in the midst of walking through this crazy world, a person can actually get to a point where they think, “You know, I’ve figured out enough about life that it’s time to be responsible for another living person and teach them all the gems I know.” Sure, I may not have said those exact words, but there is a certain bizarre mixture of optimism, arrogance and self-delusion needed to take on the role of being a parent.
In retrospect, I don’t think anyone can truly be prepared for what it requires. From the sleepless nights of infancy to willingly (yet reluctantly) attending a kid party at Chuck E. Cheese, I have always believed parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Aside from just keeping your child alive, which I distinctly remember was my main goal when I brought home my first born, as time went on I realized there was a more significant job to be done.
Becoming a parent is to be charged with the responsibility of teaching another person how to function in the world; from basic early skills like potty-training and brushing their teeth, to later life skills such as how to do laundry or clean a toilet, to ever more complex skills like navigating relational challenges with friends, how to communicate respectful disagreement to a teacher, or discussing what dating looks like (yikes!). It all falls within the purview of parenting.
I will be the first to say that I had a lot more confidence about parenting before I was a parent. (Oh, the irony)
Now, 17 years in, I still can’t use the word “confident” in reference to parenting; However, I recently had a moment with my daughter that gave me a different kind of confidence.
My observation of parenting teenagers is that while they are doing the job of growing up and figuring themselves out, which includes some necessary pushing away, parents can be on the receiving end of some pretty crummy moments. This, paired with the fact that we are in fact over 30-years-old, and by definition, overwhelmingly lame in the eyes of our teenagers (sorry if that comes as news to some of you), can result in more lamentations than celebrations.
However, don’t despair buttercup, because no matter how lame your kid thinks you are, or whether you may even begin to agree with their assessment, you are a part of their TEAM.
The whole thing came to me in a moment of frustration/clarity in response to basic teenage dismissive energy. I said, “You won’t find two people who are more for you than Dad & me. You may not always like our decisions and I’m ok with that. While I am quite sure we are making mistakes, and this moment may be one of them, I will not accept the idea that we are not for you. We are Team Gwen, and always have been. In fact we aren’t just Team Gwen, we are the Founding Members of Team Gwen!”
That moment of unhinged-frustration-turned-clarity birthed the idea that I wanted to encourage all parents who are in the trenches doing the hard work of parenting. As with most of my ideas, it came in a burst of energy and I have many thoughts about what I can do with it, but I wanted to start with this:
I would like to offer a FREE custom printable with your child’s name that you can download and have as a reminder of what is true, regardless of the direction relational winds may be blowing with your kid.
Of course there are various logistics to resolve, so I first wanted to hear whether there is interest or is this just one of those ideas I’m excited about, but doesn’t have any spark for anyone else. (No worries, cuz that happens quite a bit…Celery Advocacy anyone?)
The longer I sat with this, I also got to thinking about all of the aunts, uncles, grandparents or close friends who are also a part of the team. (it takes a village, indeed) So I also created a standard Team graphic if that’s your jam.
While this revelation came to me in the context of the teen years, I can absolutely see how it can apply to any season, even parents who are newly expecting. (Build yourself up while you can)
There is power in declaring what is true and I want to keep finding ways to use my art to make a difference. Ultimately, I may make custom products surrounding this idea (I’ve got my eye on some hats this time), but as always I want to bring value first — so who doesn’t love a FREEBIE?
Print the graphic out and display it on your desk or a prominent place in the house. Make it a wallpaper for your phone, so you see it throughout your day. Tie a ribbon to it and hang it around your neck for those super challenging days.
Not only does it have the potential to give you a little boost on those tough days, but I think that there’s a really good chance your kids may ultimately enjoy the idea as well. Both my girls renamed the ongoing group chats that Dean & I have with them as Team Gwen and Team Kyra, so this may have legs. (Ba-Blam!)
So what do you think? Any interest?
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